How to share your deepest fantasies

Have a clear sense of what your fantasies are about what you are trying to achieve before talking to your partner.

Tell your partner what you enjoy about your current sex life. This strategy is called ‘Appreciative Inquiry’ and instead of identifying problems and solving them, starts by celebrating what does work and ask: how can we make things even better? Share your fantasy or the desired new ingredient for your sexual repertoire

Ask about your partner’s ideas and personal fantasies

When discussing difficult subjects – especially when we fear rejection – it is easy to hear an outright NO when our partner means MAYBE or YES but with reservations.

Accept that your partner will have different fantasies and just because yours and his or hers are not identical, is not a catastrophe. Give each other the benefit of the doubt when something is unclear or uncertain and keep talking.

Be flexible. Your fantasy does not have to be realised 100 per cent. Maybe your partner’s reservations will prompt a rethink and promote ideas which could be even more satisfying.

How to 69?

When your guy is on top during simultaneous oral sex, try pleasing him without taking his entire shaft in your mouth. Lick and kiss the head of his penis, or run your tongue up and down the length of the shaft paying special attention to the supersensitive frenulum -- the thin ridge on the underside of the penis. You'll launch his libido into the stratosphere if you use your hands to massage his testicles and perineum -- the nerve-packed patch of skin between his balls and his back door -- in conjunction with your mouth moves. You could also have your man hover over you on all fours -- with his knees by your ears -- instead of lying directly on top, which will give you more room to roam his hot spots. Although your guy likes to be on top, there are other 69 positions that can be just as mutually satisfying. Why not switch to the woman-on-top pose?
The pleasure plus for you is being able to control the intensity of oral pressure against your clitoris by how hard you press against him. Or, try the side-by-side configuration: Lie on your sides, with your mouths directly in front of each other's genitals. Bend your top legs at the knee and put your feet flat on the mattress. Then you can rest your heads on the lower thigh. It make take some minor modifications before your bodies comfortably mesh, but the beauty of this position is being able to watch the other get off -- which can be mind-blowingly sexy.

How to have sex on the beach!

Before you pack your beach bag, though, check out our guide to summer loving on the sand.

Rule No. 1: Watch out for crabs!

Stake out your spot. Having the waves lap at your toes may sound sexy, but the closer you are to the water, the more exposed you'll be. Sandy sexing requires a little groundwork. Look for a semi-private spot near a dune or large rock; a little cove would be ideal.

You might also want to consider clearing away any litter, sharp shells, or driftwood that could wreak havoc later on. And don't forget to check the tide report -- there's nothing like a wild wave (or fatal undertow) to dampen your night of passion.

Click here to read the rest after the jump.

Wait for nightfall. Yeah, sorry, but unless you want to be thrown in jail (don't laugh -- this couple got jail time), you really can't get down until a) it's pitch black outside and b) desolate.

Bring your supplies. Be prepared: You'll need a towel or blanket to avoid the dreaded sand-crotch syndrome; a backup towel for emergency clean-ups or "Hey, what are you guys doing down there?" moments; a plastic bag for your used condom (leave no trace -- please); a bottle of water for washing off sand; and Purell.

Bring a flashlight in case you need it but avoid using it if possible -- it can draw attention. You may also want to pre-set your cell's alarm set to rouse you a bit later -- a post-coital doze interrupted by a leering fisherman or angry cop is not hot.

Know what to leave behind. Sticky lubricant + sticky sand = no fun, so leave the lube at home and warm each other up the old-fashioned way.
Dress for the occasion. Getting buck-naked may be hotter, but the more time you spend fumbling with your clothes, the greater your risk of getting caught. Elastic-waist swim shorts are a good easy-on-easy-off option for guys, while gals should opt for skirts or dresses -- you can hike it up, sit on him and still look clothed should anyone mosey by.

Avoid the water. Yes, we know it looks hot in movies. The downside is that

1) water sex is awkward,
2) water sex can dry you out (if you know what we mean), and
3) water sex puts you in close contact with sharp shells, riptides, random sea creatures, and evil jellyfish (unless you like golden showers). And need we remind you of the opening scene of "Jaws"?

Get in and get out. Hopefully the thrill of being in public will help you both reach climax quickly. If the sand is fine or hard-packed, missionary or side-to-side are good choices. If the sand's uneven or sinking, you might have to be creative (maybe have him sit on a cooler while you ride on top). Doggy-style works on most surfaces but is tougher to play off if you're caught.
Once you're done, clean up and leave the scene of the crime within 10 minutes. Take a long shower as soon as you get home to remove any sand from your treasure chest.

The Love Seat!

Erotic Instructions:
Tell your partner to lie back, propping up his head and shoulders with a pillow, and have him spread his legs slightly. While you're facing the same direction — your back is to his face — lower yourself onto his hardened penis. Put your feet between his legs on the floor or the bed. Take your right hand and place it on his right hip bone and your left hand on the bed next to his left hip bone. Use your hands and feet to move your body up and down on his shaft.


Why You'll Love It:
The movement of your seat is the key to the Love Seat. With both your hands and feet controlling your motion, ride your behind up and down at a pace that feels best. While you're doing all the work, give your man's hands a pleasure project and have him massage your butt, back, neck, and other sexy spots he doesn't always have access to.

How do I do, a good, reverse cowgirl?

Have your guy lie on his back and, facing his feet, straddle him with your knees on either side of his hips. Or, if it's more comfortable, squat over him with your feet flat on the bed. When he's nice and hard (and you're well lubricated), place one hand on the bed or his legs to steady yourself, as you hold the base of his penis with your other hand, and slowly lower yourself onto him.

Once he's securely inside of you, start moving up and down, using your leg muscles to build momentum. You can help maintain your balance by placing your hands in front of you (on his legs or the bed), or reach back and put your hands on his thighs. One of the major perks of any girl-on-top position: You're in control, so mix things up and do whatever feels best. You can vary the speed and depth of penetration. Or play with your movements by gyrating back and forth or in circles instead of just up and down. At some point, try arching your back, which allows his member to stimulate your G-spot. And, since you have easy access to your clitoris, give yourself a hand if you need it.

Reverse cowgirl offers some benefits for your man as well. For starters, he gets some sweet eye candy with that amazing view of your butt. And you'll really turn him on if you play with his testicles as you grind him. Guys also get off on females taking charge, but that doesn't mean that you have to do all the work. If you start getting tired, have him wrap his hands around your hips to help with the thrusting. But make sure you don't bounce too hard or lean too far forward, or you could cause some serious damage to his manhood. And if he happens to slip out at any point, simply put him back in and keep going.

Three Things that Get in the Way of Your Orgasm

Stalling out when you’re thisclose to a thigh-quaking climax is not the ideal way to end a sack session. So why does it happen to so many women? Blame a “cognitive distraction”—which is just fancy science-speak for any thoughts that can throw you off your game. “Many women have to be focused and in the right mind-set in order to orgasm,” says Megan Fleming, PhD, of greatlifegreatsex.com. “When an intrusive or negative thought pops into your head, it can be almost impossible to get past it.” Here are the top three mental mojo killers, plus advice on how to block them from your brain so you cross that finish line every time.

“I have like, two years worth of laundry to do”
Women are especially prone to running through their to-do list—I need to send so and so that email, this room needs a serious tidying-up—at inopportune times, says Fleming. Once the monologue gets going, however, it’s difficult to shut it down. So prevent it from happening in the first place by removing visual cues, like your laundry basket or laptop, that might set it off before you and your guy start getting into it. Out of sight really is out of mind.

“What is taking so damn long?!”
Stressing over when, when, when your big O will happen is the grand finale’s kryptonite. This train of thought is what’s known as “spectatoring,” says Fleming: You’re observing yourself in the moment, rather than being present in it. The solution: Take a deep breath—when we’re tense, we tend to hold our breath without even realizing it, and some studies show that inhaling and exhaling in a way that mimics the breathing pattern of an orgasm can help bring one on. Then describe what you’re thinking or feeling out loud, even in a whisper. For instance, “I love when you move your tongue like that” or “Your body feels amazing on top of mine.” You’ll start experiencing pleasure rather than anticipating it.

“I am jiggling up a storm in this angle.” 
Girl-on-top may be one of the most surefire ways to get off, since it puts you in the driver’s seat. But it’s not always the most forgiving position in the world—especially after a big dinner. Here’s the thing: Whether you’re self-conscious about your jiggly tummy or some other body part, your guy isn’t even noticing it—he’s focusing on how awesome you look and how good you feel. If that doesn’t keep you from slipping into negativity mode, tweak your positioning. For example, stay in girl on top but extend yourself over your guy, so your body is less visible, or go with side-by-side booty, which covers you up yet keeps your hands free so you still have sexy control.

Oral Sex Tips - How to Give Oral Sex

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How can I help my guy improve his oral-sex technique?

The only way to have a truly satisfying sex life is to let your guy know what does -- and doesn't -- turn you on. And, despite your fear of hurting his feelings, most men appreciate in-the-sack advice because knowing they're getting you off gets them off, too. So ask for what you want. That doesn't mean flat-out telling him that his oral techniques, well, suck. But, next time he's giving you some below-the-belt TLC, say something like, "It would feel so good if you'd lick me a little harder," or faster, or whatever the case may be. Or, you could suggest playing a sexy game of follow-the-leader. The rules: First, you go down on him using the kinds of tongue movements you'd like him to use on you. Then, when it's his turn, ask him to pleasure you the same way.
You can also teach him how to please you by using body language. If you want more pressure, push your pelvis toward his mouth or nudge his head in closer; for less pressure, move slightly away from him or gently push his head back a little bit. If he isn't hitting the bull's-eye, make a V with your index and middle finger and place it around the spot you want him to lick. More ways to direct him with your digits: Pull back the skin on yourclitoral hood, which will encourage him to lavish attention on your clitoris, or cover it with your finger if it's too sensitive for direct contact.

Of course, it's just as important to clue him in when he's doing something right. So tell him when he makes a move that sends shivers up your spine. Just saying, "That feels sooo good," or letting out a satisfied moan willdo the trick. It shouldn't take him long to catch on. And when he does, there'll be a passion payoff for both of you.